Watch Down and Dirty Duck
Lonely, sexually frustrated insurance adjuster Willard Isenbaum decides to propose to the new secretary, Susie, whom he has only known for a day and to whom he has never spoken. He spends the entire morning before work fantasizing about having sex with her, but his attempts to approach her fail. His female boss sends him to investigate a claim filed by Painless Martha's, a tattoo parlor; Martha believes in a Ouija board message saying that she will be killed by a wizard on a Tuesday.
When Willard tells her that the insurance company won't pay until her death, she dies of a heart attack. Her will stipulates that her killer must take care of her duck. After the duo spends a night in jail, the duck takes Willard to a brothel. After a wild night of partying, they wind up in the desert where the duck dresses Willard in women's clothing in an attempt to get a ride. They are finally picked up by a trucker. Back at his apartment, Willard creates a makeshift sex toy, which the duck eats. When Willard discovers that the duck is female, he has sex with her, and he quits his job the following morning.
- Howard Kaylan, Mark Volman, Robert Ridgely
- Charles Swenson