The movie begins at a place which appears to be Nevada's legendary Area 51. A visiting general is led down into an underground complex where he is shown a captured alien. The alien resembles a chubby Vulcan in a cowboy costume, and greets the general with a "Hey, what'cha looking at?". The next scene opens 300 years later, in 2304. Earth is under attack by the fleet of the Mars Regulator and his asthmathic right hand (and son) Jens Maul. With most of Earth's forces destroyed, the Queen Metapha (from "metaphor", played by Anja Kling) of Earth and her secretaries debate their last options. They decide to call for the crew of the Surprise, Earth's last available ship, to travel 300 years back in time. Their mission is to destroy a UFO which had crash-landed in Nevada in 2004. Its technology had enabled mankind to colonize Mars in the first place, hence its destruction would prevent the attack 300 years later. On the Surprise, (which resembles a slightly more phallus-shaped version of the Voyager from Star Trek), Captain Kork, Mr. Spuck and Schrotty are in training for the Miss Waikiki Contest 2304. Captain Kork is at first very reluctant to follow the order to return to Earth immediately but changes his mind instantly as the navigator tells him that cancelled leave is the standard punishment for disobedience. Because of some technical problems, however, direct transport is not possible, so Kork orders Schrotty to just call a space taxi. The taxi is driven by Rock (played by Til Schweiger), who is immediately admired by both Kork and Spuck. Rock manages to break through the Martian blockade, but during the action the taxi is chased and severely damaged, and crashes beside the Queen's palace. Kork, Spuck and Schrotty are advised of their mission and are then seated into the time machine, which looks exactly like an old sofa. Rock, who stubbornly refuses to leave until his taxi is replaced, falls in love with the Queen at first sight. When the Regulator's forces attack the capital city, he and Metapha join Kork and Spucky on the device, but Schrotti accidentally remains behind. Jens Maul acquires the time machine's manual from Schrotti, builds his own onto an old motorcycle, and follows the foursome back in time. The travellers have a couple of unvoluntary sojourns in 1304 Britain, during a torunament held by Lord William the Last (Sky Dumont), and Nevada of the Wild West era, where they run afoul of Santa Maria (Dumont in a cameo reprisal of his role in Der Schuh des Manitu). Also, upon arrival in the latter the time machine is immediately wrecked by a speeding train, and Maul catches up with and attempts to eliminate them, without much success. The group uses Maul's moped to escape the Wild West, but inside the timestream they realize that they cannot properly control the vehicle. In the brief moment in which it returns to reality, they jump off, and the moped vanishes once more in time. Just as the quartet is about to take their bearings (as it turns out, it is finally 2004 Nevada), Jens Maul shows up once more, having painstakingly re-assembled the pieces of the smashed time sofa with the help of the manual. He and Rock come to blows with their Swiss Army Lasers, and just when Maul is ready to deliver the coup de grce, the UFO crash-lands on his head, knocking him out. The UFO turns out to be no bigger than a large book, and its occupant no taller than a human hand. The beer-guzzling alien emerges, and in its haste to consume more alcohol, it begins to choke. Spucky tries to help by offering Maul's asthma spray; but the pressure created by the device blows up the creature. Rock disintegrates the UFO with the laser, and the group scrambles onto the sofa just as the local military arrives. But the control panel shows that it is overloaded with exactly 76.375 kilograms just as much as Spucky happens to weigh. With a heavy heart, Spucky decides to remain behind. The story switches back to Area 51, where Spuck has just finished telling his tale. The government officials are not convinced - until Spuck provides proof in the form of a futuristic piece of technology: a thermometer with a vibrating alarm which he had inserted just before departure. And as Kork, Rock and Metapha get back to the future, Spuck and Schrotty, who was never captured by the Regulator's soldiers in the new timeline, are already awaiting them. Spuck has survived because he's a Vulcanette, who have extraordinarily long lifespans, and has been busy re-decorating Earth within the last 300 years (it is now all in pink). With the world safe, the group goes to Honolulu to take part in the Miss Waikiki Contest - but the ever-relentless Jens Maul has to say the last word about this.