'The Bachelorette' Season 8, Episode 4 London Calling And Kalon's Nuclear Error Recap
Welcome back to "The Bachelorette," and might I say, I'm digging this globe-trotting concept. Then again, I'd be fond of almost anything that would make me watch "The Bachelorette" and think about playing Street Fighter II instead.
This week, the pond has been hopped and Emily Maynard's Traveling Circus has touched down in London. I confess to being tragically disappointed that this week's activities didn't involve pub brawling, taunting soccer hooligans and voluntarily experiencing the joys of British dentistry. After all, this season is sorely disappointing in how little physical injury I've experienced.
That being said, Emily does make it abundantly clear that she's shifted herself into "Seriously, Not Another Out-Of-Turn Syllable From Any Of You About My Kid" gear. Somebody set a toe out of line, didn't know when to shut what we like to call "the Hell up" and is consequently lucky he didn't get kicked square in his fish and chips.
Oh, but let's not get ahead of ourselves - Sean got a one-on-one date this week! His stroll with Emily about London's famous Hyde Park did earn him snuggly smoochies, but it was taking to a soapbox to give a speech about the glory of love that eventually earned him a pretty easy rose.
Ah, then there was the group date.
It started with Emily, as is tradition on this show, putting grown men theoretically born with dignity through various tasks that are a ways outside respective comfort zones. This week, this butch bunch is taking on tights and delivering a command Shakespearean performance.
Of all people, it was Travis - he of the weird, giant egg-baby that he let his would-be betrothed murder - who stepped it up. After four previous weeks spent making most people wonder "Wait, which one is Travis again?", he delivered Romeo & Juliet's Mercutio in an accent that could only be described as Johnny Cash by way of Scrooge McDuck and upstaged even Ryan attempting to clear Emily's throat with his tongue.
That's not to say he was the only one finally making an impression, though.
Jef Minus An "F" took the Man-Up Express this week and recognized that Emily had taken a liking to him without his really trying. He managed to make the most of an English Countrside etiquette lesson sipping tea alongside Lady Maynard - and by "make the most," I mean that he and Emily eventually said "screw this noise" and made for a pub for a round or two.
Maybe its the bold richness of British beer, but Emily finally decides while on the London Eye ferris wheel and cuddled up that she's done playing "Junior High Dance" and just tells Jef that she wants him to lay some lovin' on her, damn it. After Jef reminds her that he blew his shot in Bermuda, he makes good this time with . . . . a hug.
Yep. He hugged her.
Once the ride ends, she wanders off onto a bridge overlooking the city. Along comes Jef, who finally seems to get it, and our boy lays a gentle kiss on her before trying to pull away. Nothin' doin'! Emily grabs him and pulls him in a whole lot closer than Jef had planned. Me thinks his other "f" might have dropped in that moment.
Nothing but love, kisses, hugs and all that rot here, folks.
Oh, wait. Kalon's still here.
Every season, there's that one guy selected especially so that women have someone to hate. If there's ever a Hall of Fame for this show, Bentley, Kalon and Brad Womack would make up the inaugural class, if the viewing ladies had their votes counted. Kalon decides to tell Arie and Jef Minus An "F" that he considers Emily's eight-year-old daughter Ricki "baggage." Then someone passed this along to Chris. Then someone passed that along to Doug. Then Doug confronted Kalon, who admitted he said it.
Then Doug told Emily.
Then Emily had a word with Kalon.