'Curb Your Enthusiasm' Season 8, Episode 2 Recap - 'Safe House'
Last week's premiere had Larry losing Cheryl, losing the house, and gaining a pack of irate Girl Scouts. But it's a new week, so there's a whole new set of people for Larry to piss off.
It all starts with Larry, Jeff and Funkhouser waiting for Richard to show up to lunch, when Funkhouser informs them that Richard is dating a burlesque dancer. This intrigues the boys enough to decide to go see her perform, but not enough to do the "hands in" with Funkhouser.
But before Larry can leave the restaurant, the snowball effect storyline begins: a guy has to leave the restaurant for a second, and asks Larry to watch his laptop. But when the guy takes too long to get back, Larry asks another guy to watch it...and he "happened to be black."
The guys go to see Richard's new girlfriend perform, and find that she's actually very attractive...and has double D's. But Larry is only concerned with a mole that he sees under her right boob, which he informs her about the next day at lunch with her and Richard. Richard isn't too thrilled with Larry's prying, but Larry defends himself: "I had breast vision!"
The guy with the computer runs into Larry and starts going off on him, since his computer was gone when he got back. He changes his tune quickly, though, when he starts yelling at Larry for giving his computer to a black guy and realizes how he sounds. For once somebody other than Larry is being accidentally racist! Larry is smug.
Another dinner with Richard and his girlfriend reveals that the mole is nothing to be worried about...but while she was talking to the doctor, she did decide to get a breast reduction. Richard is furious and blames Larry, but decides to have a nice night at a hotel with his burlesque sweetheart and her double D's the night before they go away. It's "kind of like Vietnam," as Richard puts it.
The main through-line of the episode, though, is Larry's encounters with the women of a safe house a few doors down. Larry finds himself being slightly (but understandably) rude to a woman in the grocery store who is crying in front of the ice cream (he just wanted some Chubby Hubby!) and a woman whose dog keeps pooping on his lawn.
As an apology, Larry allows the women to use the laundry room in his house, since there's so many of them using the one in theirs. But a husky, tattoed woman by the name of Dale has Larry suspicious: she looks like she could take care of herself. When Larry asks her if she's freeloading, she psyches him out and makes him fall and bruise his eye.
The doctor, understandably, thinks that Larry is being abused, and when Leon shows up and has an even more suspicious exchange with Larry, the doctor decides to file a domestic abuse report. Unfortunately, the cops show up to Larry's house right after the computer guy (yes, the black one) shows up with the laptop and waits inside for Larry. So, he gets arrested while Leon strolls in with his Panda Express.
The icing on the cake: Richard needs some ice cream at the grocery store, but Dale is in the way. When she explains that she's from a battered women's shelter, Richard notes that she could take care of herself...which causes her to break Richard's arms in the freezer door. So much for his night with the double D's.
Interestingly, Larry got away mostly unscathed this week, with the exception of the black eye. After ending up on the floor with a tampon up his nose in the premiere as Cheryl told him that he lost the house, I guess it's good for Larry to get a bit of a break.
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