Joe Jonas Denies Ties To Taylor Swift's Latest Breakup Song
We'd like to help Joe Jonas make something crystal clear.
Though true that Taylor Swift has rarely met mopey breakup dirty laundry she won't air on FM airwaves, the young Disney-bred musician needn't be counted among it.
Swift on Tuesday released her latest ode to how much ex-boyfriends suck, less-than-creatively titled "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together," and the "Which former squeeze inspired this?" sleuthing started exactly on schedule. Jonas, who dated the country starlet in 2008, wants himself declared a person of no interest in this investigation, thank you all very little.
Oh, and to be clear, the fact he reportedly drove her to the Splitsville city limits, threw the door open and told her to tuck and roll via 30-second phone call proves nothing, you hear? Nothing.
"I can say it's not about me, because I don't think we've ever tried [getting back together for] another time, so..." he told 94.7 Fresh FM. "I can tell you it's not about me!
"I haven't really spoken to her recently, but I was able to go to her concert last year, and her show live is so phenomenal," he added. "I would say anybody should go see it if they have a chance. I think we're cool."
Of course, Swift has a displayed on at least one occasion a mental cross-wiring in which "privacy" and "discretion" are processed as "public" and "desiccation." Swift herself once told The New York Times she couldn't wrap her brain around it "when I knew something was going on in someone's personal life and they didn't address it in their music." To be fair, she didn't exactly grow up entirely in an era in which personal strife was always handled with poetic subtlety. Hence, when former flame John Mayer put two and two together to conclude that her tune "Dear John" was a swipe at their relationship, he claimed the song "humiliated" him.
"I think it's kind of cheap songwriting," he said. "I know she's the biggest thing in the world, and I'm not trying to sink anybody's ship, but I think it's abusing your talent to rub your hands together and go, 'Wait 'till he gets a load of this!'"
Again, not that waxing of love's many splendors and pratfalls is anything new. It's just that once upon a time, the songs were so much better.
Buck up, though, Mr. Jonas: with Mayer already having a song all to his lonesome, that still leaves Taylor Lautner and Jake Gyllenhaal untouched. They're due.