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"Bert the Conqueror" (2010) was an American reality TV show. It was hosted by the comedian Bert Kreischer, the titular "Conqueror." In the show, he would travel to different states and visit their amusement parks. He would go on and talk about the various attractions at the park, like water slides, roller coasters, or weird sports.

Wednesday 10:00 PM et/pt on Travel Channel
3 Seasons, 38 Episodes - Canceled
June 16, 2010
Reality
7.3/10
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Bert the Conqueror Full Episode Guide

  • On a thrilling Texas trip, Bert faces fierce boardwalk coasters, trains sea lions, enters a Bonnie Knees contest, rides a unique shuttle coaster and battles his fear of heights by rappelling down a 16-story building.

  • Bert pays a visit to a ride-testing site in Utah, using himself a human guinea pig and strapping into tomorrow's best and boldest rides. Before that, he heads to Georgia's Tank Town USA to crush cars in a military-grade tank.

  • Bert takes a road trip through Kentucky and Tennessee, riding America's tallest free body water slide and competing in the Running of the Balls, an extreme event where runners are chased down a hill by a colossal plastic ball.

  • Bert finds extreme thrills in Ohio. First, he rides the world's tallest, fastest, and longest wing coaster, and then he flies down a ski jump turned waterslide, hoping to make the biggest splash at a summer camp of teenagers.

  • Bert journeys through America's Midwest, seeking out the region's biggest thrills including a high-anxiety haunted house and a wild ATV race at the Eagle Mountain Mud Run.

  • Bert visits the Tri-State Area for a wild tour of the region's most extreme attractions. After suffering a freak injury on a waterslide, can Bert come back in time to conquer a 5K full of inflatable obstacles?

  • Can Bert withstand 15 tons of flying tomatoes at the Seattle Tomato Battle?

  • Bert takes on Hollywood Rip Ride Rockit, Transformers: The Ride-3D and the Jurassic Park River Adventure at Universal Orlando Resort. Plus, he gets a behind-the-scenes look at Universal's newest ride, Skull Island: Reign of Kong.

  • Bert wrestles to catch a muddy pig, and winner takes it home, in Florida.

  • Bert tackles Michigan's top thrills, such as a backyard "Abusement Park."

  • Bert takes a ride in a summer bobsleigh on wheels, bungee jumps from a bridge over the Cheakamus River and joins a mad dash race downhill in the annual cheese roll race at the Canadian Cheese Rolling Festival.

  • Bert Kreischer heads to Six Flags New England in Agawam, Mass., to ride record-breaking rides: the Wicked Cyclone and the New England SkyScreamer.

  • Bert races a machine-powered chariot at speeds upwards of 40 miles per hour against locals of the Upper Midwest in an ancient Roman-style chariot event with a modern twist.

  • Bert takes on whitewater rapids in Colorado.

  • Bert shoots through the world's longest water coaster and then is off to the mountains to skim and glide a snow tube across a pit of icy water.

  • Bert heads to Six Flags Discovery Kingdom in San Francisco and races down the curviest streets in the Bring Your Own Big Wheel Event.

  • Bert heads to Cancun, Mexico to swim with dolphins, take a trip down the fastest zip line in Mexico, and compete in the 1st ever Coral Beach Tubing Espectaculo.

  • Bert heads to the Grand Canyon state to conquer the rides at Wet N' Wild. Later he spends time with some camels and ostriches.

  • Bert heads to New Mexico for some wild winter thrills at the Ruidoso Winter Park. Later they're off to the races at Angel Fire Resort. Finally, Bert is off to the only indoor water park in New Mexico.

  • Bert goes to Anchorage, AK to brave the cold as he participates in the 76th Annual Fur Rendezvous Festival.

  • Bert returns to Texas and heads to the Six Flags in Arlington. He takes on Titan, then gets a little chilly on the Mr. Freeze coaster. Finally, he gets down and dirty with the locals during the "Buddy Run".

  • Bert heads to Canada and tries to conquer the Mindbender at the West Edmonton Mall, the 37th annual Toboggan race, and much more.

  • Bert checks out the Garden State for some of his most difficult challenges to date. At Six Flags he takes on the Kingda Ka and El Toro. Then he's off to Raceway Park for the grueling Tough Mudder.

  • Bert checks out Hawaii's only water park, swims with sharks, and heads to the Paddleboard Cliff Jump Regatta.

  • Bert heads to Universal Orlando to take on the only inverted dueling coaster, then to the Wet 'N Wild, and later to try out his wakeboarding skills.

  • Bert heads to Busch Gardens and Kings Dominion to ride the wildest rides in the park. And then he's off to conquer the Griffon and the Intimidator, the fastest coaster on the East Coast. He ends his trip donning a kilt in Doswell.

  • Bert makes his way through New England and heads to Maine to attend the eleventh annual North American Wife Carrying Championship.

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