Dead Right

The film opens with a parody of the Simon Bates intro that used to accompany VHS rentals where Bates would explain to the viewer what certificate the film had received - 18 apparently - and what adult content they could expect to see. The story begins with a serial killer bumping off the residents of a small Somerset community. Maverick DI Barry Stern is assigned to the case and - despite his reluctance - is partnered with by-the-book fellow DI Mike Tight. On their first time out together Barry shoots a dealer trying to sell him cocaine in a public toilet. Meanwhile the killer stalks a woman home from the supermarket and kills her by electrocution with a kitchen light.
Mike and Barry show up at the scene of the crime and discover the woman bludgeoned to death. A box of cereal has been left on her head leading Barry to summise that they are now looking for a serial killer.
Back at the precinct Mike addresses his fellow inspectors. He tells them that in order to catch the killer they must look at and obey the formula that most cop movies go by even though it is a British movie and there wont be any car chases. Barry points out that the partner usually dies in these kind of movies but Mike says he is thinking more along the lines of the Lethal Weapon films.
The following day the police stakeout the local supermarket where they expect the killer to strike next. Barry is disguised as a mime. Mike is disguised an old lady in order to ensnare the killer. A small boy asks Barry for a mime. Barry gives him the finger that leads to him getting beaten up by the boy's elder brother.
Meanwhile Mike proceeds to the local park followed by the killer. Once there he realizes he is being followed and radios for help but it's too late. The killer attacks Mike and stabs him. Barry arrives on bike to find Mike dying. Mike says he loves Barry and gets him to give him a final kiss. Before he dies he tells him to look in the script to see where the killer is hiding out.
Barry arrives at a creepy looking house. There he is captured by the killer and tied to a chair. Barry says he knows who he is and proceeds to tell him his back-story: The killer is Philip Quinn. As a child he was made to eat cereal every day. He couldn't do it and in later years developed an inferiority complex about it. He then murdered his parents with a Black and Decker jigsaw and inherited their estate. He surrounded himself with waifs-and-strays that, like him, were hooked on cereal and slowly built up an army of hockey stick carrying box-men. He got a job at the local supermarket to satisfy his desire for cereal but he couldn't stand it when people would buy it for themselves and so he would follow them home and murder them.
Philip leaves Barry under the watchful eye of his beautiful sister Antonia. She seduces him and ten seconds later they are lying in bed together post-coitus. Barry handcuffs her to the chair and makes his escape.
Outside Barry encounters one of the box-men. He manages to defeat him by jumping on his face, which blows up. Meanwhile Antonia sounds the alarm which summons a whole army of box-men. They chase him into a room that turns out to be an armoury. He tools-up and proceeds outside to face his adversaries. A gun battle ensues during which Barry discovers that one of the box-men is MI5 undercover agent Nigel Roscoe. The pair join forces to fend off the box-men. After a lengthy action sequence they manage to slaughter the army leading to much splatter and carnage. However by this point Antonia has escaped and she hurls a knife into Nigel's back killing him. Barry shoots Antonia in the head.
Back at the supermarket Philip is working. Barry turns up to catch him but DI Jackson is waiting there to take Barry in. Barry subdues Philip but when Jackson interferes Barry lets Philip go in order to recapture him elsewhere. He tells Jackson not to follow him and lays chase.
In the local park Philip takes Edgar the director hostage and kills him. Barry breaks character, grabs a passing extra and gets her to direct the rest of the film.
Barry corners Philip in a playground. The pair have a showdown where they fight it out one-on-one. The fight culminates with Barry shooting Philip in the chest but only after reciting the "do you feel lucky" speech from Dirty Harry. Philip begs for mercy and says he wants to be Barry's best friend. Barry shoots him in the head.
As the police show up to clear up the mess Barry has created he sits forlornly on a park bench. Disillusioned with the police he throws his badge away before riffling through his pockets and pulling out a pin, a police radio and a grenade. Realizing too late that the pin was from the grenade it goes off.

2007 | 39 min | 7.9/10
Dead Right