Hollywood Learns Nothing, Greenlights 'Hungry Hungry Hippos' Movie

Never underestimate Hollywood's capacity to pursue a terrible idea.

Before the huge flop that was "Battleship," toy company Hasbro had a nice deal with Universal that would have seen more games, such as Monopoly, being adapted into movies. However, once "Battleship" turned out to be a very expensive dud, Universal decided that more silly board game adaptations probably wouldn't be wise.

Enter Emmett/Furla Films, the production company behind "The Wicker Man" and "Freelancers," to name a couple. The company has struck a deal with Hasbro to pursue adaptations of their properties, which will include Monopoly, G.I. Joe, Action Man and Hungry Hungry Hippos.

That's not a joke. They're really planning a Hungry Hungry Hippos movie.

Here's the very important thing to understand about Hasbro's place in the movie industry: their licensing agreements allowed the "Transformers" movies to be made. Those turned out to be a huge cash cow for the studio, so naturally the next step was to pursue other titles, like "Battleship."

That's a huge leap, of course, though the studio execs didn't seem to see it: "Transformers" was already a TV show before and had proved that it could support a narrative, and plus it's about huge transforming robots. Who wouldn't want to see that, with all the special effects abilities we have today? "Battleship," on the other hand, will automatically bring to mind placing little pegs on a plastic board. And Hungry Hungry Hippos... well, I just don't see how you can spin that into a movie, unless you want to make them teenage hippos who are mutant ninjas.

Here, friends, is a fake movie poster that someone made as a joke when the "Battleship" movie poster came out. This might actually be a real thing soon:

Or this:

Or maybe this: