Scarlett Johansson and Sean Penn Break Up, Logic and Order Restored to World

SeanJo, Pennlett, ScarPenn...whatever you chose to call them before, now you can call them kaput.

Scarlett Johansson and Sean Penn have split, ending their relationship of roughly three or four months. This news comes just about one month after we learned that Scarlett had moved in with Penn to his multi-million-dollar Malibu mansion. That was also right around the time that I finally stopped cursing the heavens about the injustice of it all.

Johansson, who is 26 years old, and Penn, who is 50, had been seen together at Reese Witherspoon's wedding and at the White House Correspondents Dinner, and exhibited blatant public displays of affection at both gatherings. Like, making out and stuff. Gross.

While neither camp has given a statement about the split (they never gave a statement about the relationship either, so that's no surprise), we can all imagine, I'm sure, why things didn't work.

Perhaps Penn realized he was dating someone about the same age as his children, and Johansson someone as old as her father. Maybe Scarlett realized that she had left the ab-tastic Ryan Reynolds and ended up with a wrinkly old dude. It could be that Scarlett finally accepted the fact that her chances of winning an Oscar won't increase by sleeping with another winner.

In any case, men everywhere rejoice at the news (though we all know it's pointless) and women continue to not understand what Scarlett was thinking in the first place.