Shia LaBeouf Auditioned With Real Sex Tapes. Of Course He Did.

Shia, you’ve got a real keeper in that lady of yours if this didn’t bother her.

Because Shia LaBeouf is a true artist, y’all (really, he’d give back his “Transformers” money if only you’d take him seriously. No comment on the “Even Stevens” fortune), and  true art means being totally real to the point of dropping acid for a scene, as well as performing non-simulated sex on-screen.

So how does one audition for a movie that encourages real sex if it doesn’t involve  a guy on the subway telling you that you have that Hollywood look, and maybe you should come back to his apartment to do some headshots?

Well, if you’re Shia LaBeouf, it involves taping you and your either unaware or unusually tolerant girlfriend having sex, and sending in the footage to Lars von Trier.

The director’s new flick “The Nymphomaniac” was a real draw for LaBeouf, and the star made sure to... go all the way... when it came to seeking the role.

“I sent him videotapes of me and my girlfriend having sex and that’s how I got the job,” he told “Chelsea Lately.”

So his girlfriend Karolyn Pho let him send in a tape of her naked, so he can get paid big bucks to sleep with other women? That’s how I’m reading this story. describes the film as “A woman discovers her hidden erotic desires.”

Normally I would insert a lot of porn jokes here (insert, get it?), but it looks like the film has a pretty solid cast beyond the bearded, paper-bag wearing LaBeouf. We’ve got Jamie Bell, we’ve got Stellan Skarsgard, there’s Charlotte Gainsbourg and some Nicole Kidman and a rumored Willem Dafoe… so all in all, looks to be good.

Plus von Trier both wrote and directed the film, so that’s a promising draw. I just hope I can get past the eeky fact that I'd be witnessing LaBeouf's true, artistic "O" face...