Episode 'True Blood' Season 4, Episode 1 - 'She's Not There' Recap

At the end of last season, Sookie stepped through the Bon Temps cemetery to her ancestral alternate fairy plane. As you do. It seriously looks like a sedate circuit/toga party over there, most everyone’s dressed in white and blissing out on glowing fairy fruit, including Sookie’s own supposedly dead grandpa.

She rightfully reads his presence as a huge red flag and uses her jazz hands superpower to get the hell out of there.

There seems to be some kind of fairy war centered on the portal to the human world. We’ll get back to that later in the season I’m sure, but for now Sookie makes it through and arrives in Bon Temps just over a year after she left. A lot has changed. Let’s catch up, shall we?

Pretty much everyone thought Sookie was dead, including Jason who sold her house to a mysterious real estate conglomerate. Jason has become an official cop as evidenced by his officially hilarious pornstache. Sheriff Andy has become a raging V addict and Kenya is nowhere in sight.

Lafayette has unsurprisingly become more awesome.  His hair looks excellent and he and his hot manwitch boyfriend Jesus are still together.  However, Jesus seems to have accidentally joined a necromancy coven lead by an unassuming but potentially completely evil middle-aged parakeet -loving wicca priestess named Marnie. Oh well, in every relationship there must be compromise.

Tara is a) living in New Orleans under a fake name b) making a living as a girl-on-girl cage fighter and c) dating one of her hot co-workers. All of the above are clearly excellent. I love, love, love, how this show can look its viewers right in the eye and crank the camp up to 11 with a straight face.  Tara/Toni actually seems really balanced and happy in this new life and relationship, which is how we know that the sh&* will be hitting the fan posthaste.

Hoyt and Jessica are shacked up and having boring married people fights about how she drinks his blood but never cooks for him. They head out to Fangtasia! for a date night to smooth things over and Jessica gets some no-bullshit non-monogamy counseling from Pam in the ladies room. I do so enjoy the twisted mentorship going on with these two. More please.

After shooting his janky half-brother in the leg, Sam has joined an all shifter anger-management support group. Mostly they get drunk together at this rich guys house and then shift into ponies and go running through the night. For reals.

Bill has gotten a sexy haircut and fashion upgrade and oh yeah, become Vampire King of Louisiana (!!!). He’s politicking all over Bon Temps, glad-handing the mayor, kissing babies and building up a suspicious amount of good will. Really nice twist by the writers on this one – can’t wait to see where it goes.

Last but not least, Eric is playing the part of Bill’s loyal subject while doing quite a bit of politicking of his own, taping human friendly PSAs and chumming it up with Nan Flanagan. Also, turns out it was Eric that bought Sookie’s house, and as he tells her at the end of the episode, he thinks that means he owns her as well.

Next week it’s witches, bitches!