Honest Ads Season 3 Episode 6 If Coffee Commercials Were Honest

If Coffee Commercials Were Honest is the sixth episode of the third season of Honest Ads, a satirical web series produced by Cracked.com. In this episode, Honest Ads parodies the exaggerated claims and misleading marketing tactics employed by coffee brands in their advertisements.

The episode opens with the familiar scene of a person waking up in the morning and heading to the kitchen to make coffee. However, instead of the usual smooth and inviting music that accompanies such scenes in coffee commercials, we hear a jarring sound, and the narrator starts with a sarcastic tone, "Ah, the best part of every morning - drinking a brown liquid that stops you from feeling like garbage for a few hours."

The narrator notes that coffee brands often use fancy terms like "100% Arabica beans" or "handpicked from the hills of Colombia," making it sound like coffee is a rare and luxurious commodity. In reality, Arabica beans are just one of many types of coffee beans, and coffee is grown in many countries around the world.

Playing on this theme, the episode features several vignettes in which different coffee brands promote their products in a hilariously honest way. For instance, while Starbucks boasts about its ethically sourced coffee, Honest Ads show Starbucks buying beans from a supplier named "Slavefarm Coffee" and getting them dirt cheap. To cover up this fact, the company hires an actor to play a farmer in a coffee plantation and give a scripted speech about how Starbucks treats its farmers with respect.

Similarly, the episode pokes fun at the culture of coffee snobbery that has emerged in the past few decades, with brands claiming to offer "single-origin" or "fair trade" coffee for a premium price. One brand, named "Pretentious Coffee," takes this to the extreme, insisting that customers taste its coffee with a specific type of spoon made from "organic, free-range bamboo" and brewed using a "semi-artisanal, artisanal method."

Another brand, "Burnt Toast Coffee," advertises its product as "bold, robust, and bitter," playing on the common belief that coffee should taste strong and bitter to be good. The episode points out that coffee is an acquired taste, and different people like it in different ways. There is no "right" way to drink coffee, and brands that try to sell a particular taste or style are just pandering to a niche market.

Throughout the episode, Honest Ads takes shots at the many gimmicks and fads that have sprung up around coffee in recent years. From "pour-over" brewing methods to "cold brew" and "nitro" coffee, the episode shows how coffee brands use fancy buzzwords and trendy techniques to make their products seem more appealing.

At the end of the episode, the narrator sums up the underlying message of the parody, saying, "In conclusion, coffee is a simple pleasure that marketers have twisted into a pretentious and overpriced commodity. But hey, it's still better than drinking watered-down tea." The episode ends with a shot of the narrator drinking a cup of coffee and grimacing in mock horror at the taste.

Overall, If Coffee Commercials Were Honest is a sharp and funny take on the coffee industry's marketing tactics. By exposing the hypocrisies and absurdities of coffee marketing, Honest Ads highlights the importance of being skeptical of advertising and consumer culture in general. Whether you love coffee or hate it, this episode is sure to make you laugh and think twice before buying your next cup.