Son Of The Beach

Watch Son Of The Beach

  • TV-14
  • 2000
  • 3 Seasons
  • 6.9  (2,793)

Son Of The Beach is a satirical comedy series that aired on FX from 2000 to 2002. The show was created by David Morgasen and Timothy Stack, who also stars in the series as the lead character, Notch Johnson. The series is set in Malibu Adjacent, a fictitious beach community in Southern California, where Notch Johnson works as a lifeguard for the Malibu Adjacent County Sheriff's Department. Notch Johnson is the quintessential 70s TV hero, an expert in the art of saving lives, a skilled surfer, and a charming ladies' man. He is joined by his team of equally hilarious and colorful characters who add more flavor and spice to the show.

Jaime Bergman, who played the role of BJ Cummings, is one of Malibu's finest lifeguards and part-time stripper. She is a witty and sultry character who shares a flirty relationship with Notch Johnson. Leila Arcieri played the part of Jamaica St. Croix, a Jamaican lifeguard who dreams of becoming an actress, but is always sidetracked by the many misadventures that happen on the beach. Roland Kickinger played the part of Chip Rommel, an Austrian bodybuilder who works as a lifeguard.

Kimberly Oja starred as Kimberlee Clark, the public relations officer for the sheriff's office, who is hopelessly in love with Notch Johnson. Lisa Banes played the part of Mayor Massengill, the ruthless and corrupt mayor of Malibu Adjacent, who is always trying to sabotage Notch Johnson and his team. Timothy Stack played the central character of Notch Johnson, the self-proclaimed "king of the beach."

The show's humor is over-the-top and borderline slapstick, with the characters often getting into ridiculous and absurd situations that will leave you laughing hysterically. The series is replete with sexual innuendos, risqué jokes, and hilarious parodies of popular TV shows and movies.

One of the most exciting aspects of the show is the celebrity cameos, which are numerous and often hilarious. The series made excellent use of its southern-western vibe, and the soundtrack consisted of many classic rock tunes, which added to the overall charm of the show.

Son of the Beach was met with mixed reviews, with many critics praising its unapologetic brand of humor, while others found the show to be lewd and lacking in substance. Despite this, the series was highly rated and garnered a loyal following, with many viewers drawn in by the show's satirical humor and wacky storylines.

In conclusion, Son Of The Beach is a must-watch for anyone who loves irreverent and satirical humor. With its eclectic cast of characters, amusing one-liners, and endless stream of parodies and pop culture references, the show is sure to keep you entertained throughout its run.

Son Of The Beach
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Bad News, Mr. Johnson
14. Bad News, Mr. Johnson
October 1, 2002
""Master of disguise"" Notch Johnson is on the run and he spends some time hiding out at Aunt Jizzy's, where he learns that Kooze and Harry have conspired to move up Harry and Kimberlee's wedding date to the next day. Kooze knows Notch will come when he hears this news and he plans to assassinate him at the wedding. Chip finds out he's in imminent danger of being deported. To avoid this, he convinces a reluctant Jamaica to marry him, which is a great shock to his ""Mootie"" and ""Poopie"" when they arrive for the wedding. Porcelain has now come up with a plan to seduce Nick Jr. into marriage so she can get her hands on the Pappasmearos fortune, so it looks like there's going to be a triple wedding at Malibu Adjacent. Notch sneaks into the SPF-30 headquaters looking for evidence against Kooze, but while he's looking, B.J. goes into labor. Notch helps to deliver her baby, after which the surprise identity of the father is revealed. With the help of Chappy, Ellen and Prof. Milosevic, Notch expo
Jailhouse Notch
13. Jailhouse Notch
September 24, 2002
Notch is convicted of the war crime and goes to jail, where he meets all sorts of unsavory characters, but soon he breaks out and begins his search for Colonel Kooze so he can clear his name. But there are some surprises back at Malibu Adjacent. Notch's brother Harry is working for Kooze, and part of their evil plan is for Harry to court and propose marriage to Kimberlee. Kimberlee falls for it and accepts Harry's proposal. Meanwhile a court rules against Porcelain and her claim on ""Snuggles'"" will, with the result being that she's now homeless.
Taco Lips Now
12. Taco Lips Now
September 17, 2002
In a flashback to Notch's war days, we see how his commanding officer Colonel Kooze ""improperly disposed of"" the village of Tam Pon. Kooze implores Notch to ""never tell"" about this atrocity. Later Notch sees the guilty colonel hanging from a tree, having apparently commited suicide. Back in the present, Notch's brother Harry Johnson has arrived at Malibu Adjacent. His secret past begins to catch up with Notch, and he is questioned by reporters about the incident at Tam Pon. This leads to his arrest, and as he's being taken into custody, Notch can hardly believe his eyes--in the distance he sees Col. Kooze! Also, Porcelain marries the decrepit old multi-millionaire Nick ""Snuggles"" Pappasmearos so she can inherit his money, but she'll have to contend with his family, including Nick Jr.
The Long Hot Johnson
11. The Long Hot Johnson
August 27, 2002
Notch's old wet nurse Aunt Jizzy and company come to him with stories of Klan activity in South Malibu Adjacent and a scheme led by the notorious Bull Cracker to cheat them out of their homes. So Notch joins the all-white South Malibu Adjacent Country Club to find out the truth. But he doesn't make the smartest move by taking Jamaica along with him posing as his fiance! Bull and his boys are about to make a move on Notch, Jamaica and Kimberlee, but they are rescued by a couple of unlikely allies, Bull's wife Pussy Willow and Porcelain. Also, Chip and B.J. try to help out by going undercover as a married brother and sister.
Empty the Dragon
10. Empty the Dragon
August 20, 2002
Notch travels to Japan with Kimberlee, Chip and Porcelain for the Nagasaki Fried Chicken (NFC) Karaoke Championships. To Porcelain's dismay, the blonde Kimberlee gets all the attention from the press. Notch gets involved with Binaka, whose crazed vegetarian father has concocted a formula that turns a chicken into a giant beast which is rampaging through Tokyo. The giant chicken captures Kimberlee and things look grim when the Japanese troops prepare to blast the big animal, but Notch comes to the rescue. Also, Chip visits a geisha house, where he gets a big, unexpected surprise.
Godfather Knows Best
9. Godfather Knows Best
August 13, 2002
Jamaica is shocked when Vinnie Fellachio claims to be the father she has never known.
Hamm Stroker's Suck My Blood
8. Hamm Stroker's Suck My Blood
August 6, 2002
When foreign lifeguards start getting killed at the Lifeguard of the Year Convention, Notch is forced to watch over his Israeli counterpart, Noccus Johnstein.
You Only Come Once
7. You Only Come Once
July 30, 2002
Stinkfinger wants revenge on the people of the world because he didn't get workman's compensation because of an explosion that occured where he was working and he seeks revenge by trying to control the weather around the world. Notch's friend comes to help as Kimberlee, Porcelain, and Notch try to foil Stinkfinger's evil plan. Meanwhile, Jamaica finds out that her mom is a TV talkshow host named "Okra" and that she had abandoned Jamaica when she was little and wants her back. Later on, Okra becomes injured in a car accident caused by icy roads and Jamaica donates one of her kidneys to her so she can stay alive.
The Gay Team
6. The Gay Team
July 23, 2002
Heinous Anus uses a machine to capture boys off of the Malibu Adjacent beach and take them to an alternate dimension.
Witness for the Prostitution
5. Witness for the Prostitution
July 16, 2002
Notch is honored at the State Univeristy College of Malibu Adjacent (S.U.C.M.A., home of the Cocks) with the opening of a lavatory science building named after him. But all is not well. After a lifeguard group therapy session (with Chappy as therapist!), Ellen comes in with the news that she's been fired from her job as house mother at the I Eta Pi sorority, where a sister named Tiffany recently committed suicide. Notch smells something fishy, and SPF-30 swings into action: Chip and B.J. accompany Ellen on a stakeout while Porcelain and Jamaica go undercover at the sorority as pledges. Sorority leader Mandy almost immediately offers Porcelain a job working for I Eta Pi's escort service, but she and Jamaica soon find out that the sorority is running a forced prostitution ring, with the knowledge and guidance of the university's Dean Faraday. Notch and the gang rescue the girls before they can be harmed. Also: Kimberlee's mother Marcia is coming for a visit. Kimberlee hates to tell her m
Three Days of the Condom
4. Three Days of the Condom
July 9, 2002
When Notch's gang finds out that B.J. has gone missing from her D.C. internship, the gang travels to D.C. to find her. Having almost given up, Notch and the SPF-30 finally get their BJ, who is alive but has amnesia and that she is pregnant. Notch questions her employer, Congressman George Bukaki, and soon his unit is embroiled in a government conspiracy. Back home, Chip must try to stop a purse-snatcher at the annual Lez-Aid Faire, where Porcelain is scheming to get famous by playing for the other team.
In the Line of Booty
3. In the Line of Booty
July 2, 2002
Someone tries to kill rapper Larry "Biggy" Little, and Jamaica's new rapper boyfriend is blamed.
Saturday Night Queefer
2. Saturday Night Queefer
June 25, 2002
Johnny Queefer returns to town to take on his dreams of becoming a broadway star. Johnny dances at one point with Porcelain and drops her and she cuts open her breasts and all the saline squirts out. Because of this, Notch bans all dancing and Kimberlee quits the force because she feels that Notch's rule is unfair. Johnny still wants to persue his dreams of becoming a broadway dancer so he enters a contest and Kimberlee becomes his dance partner. Notch faces his past of dancing and teaches Johnny and Kimberlee some of his "moves" just before the contest so they can have a clear shot at winning. Only the guy who cheated Notch years ago has come back with his son to challenge Johnny, with Porcelain as his partner.
Penetration Island
1. Penetration Island
June 18, 2002
Notch and the gang head to the Island of Bulimia by Tex Finklestein at "UBM" wanting higher ratings. When they get there, they are to play "Penetration Island", where the grand prize is $1,000,00. While everyone is being tempted or seducted by their temptress or temptor, Dirty Sanchez and his gang of Bulimians are on the island and start killing the temptors and temptresses, trying to get their island back. After being thought he was dead by everyone, Notch and an escaped Porcelain come to save the day as Dirty Sanchez is about to kill off SPF-30. Afterwards after Notch is shot by Sanchez and his gang, the scene is shown as a scripted part, then revealing that everyone is still alive.
  • Premiere Date
    March 14, 2000
  • IMDB Rating
    6.9  (2,793)