Ep 19. The Dateless Amigo

Al Bundy, the hapless shoe salesman, is approached by his best friend Griff, who complains about his lack of romance after his wife left him. Al immediately offers to set him up with one of Peg's friends, but the plan backfires when Griff's date turns out to be his own daughter's teacher. Meanwhile, Kelly, Al's ditzy daughter, and her friend Bud, hatch a plan to steal a bunch of school books and resell them for big profits. However, their scheme is foiled when they are caught by a pair of tough female students who demand a slice of the profits.

As Al helps Griff prepare for his date with his daughter's teacher, he reflects on his own love life, or lack thereof. He and Peg haven't been intimate in weeks, and despite his best efforts to woo her with gifts and compliments, she remains cold and distant. Griff, meanwhile, is convinced that Al's plan to set him up with a teacher is a surefire way to get him back in the saddle, but he soon realizes that the woman in question is his own daughter's teacher. Horrified at the prospect of dating someone who has met his daughter, Griff tries to back out of the date, but Al insists that he go through with it.

Kelly and Bud, meanwhile, are trying to come up with a plan to make some quick cash. They decide to steal a bunch of textbooks from their school and sell them to other students at inflated prices. At first, the scheme seems to be working, and they make a few hundred dollars. However, their luck runs out when they are caught by a pair of tough female students who demand a cut of the profits. Kelly and Bud, being the cowardly and inept criminals that they are, quickly fold and agree to split the money.

Back at the Bundy household, Griff is nervously preparing for his date with the teacher, while Al and Peg bicker about their lack of intimacy. Al tries to convince Peg to wear a sexy outfit and seduce him, but she is more interested in watching her favorite television show. Griff's date turns out to be a disaster, as the teacher, who is still grieving over the loss of her cat, spends the entire evening talking about her dead pet. Griff, realizing that he has made a terrible mistake, begs Al to help him get out of the situation.

In the end, all ends well, with Griff and his daughter's teacher deciding that they are better off as friends, and Kelly and Bud learning a valuable lesson about the dangers of stealing. Al and Peg, however, are still struggling with their lack of intimacy, with Al lamenting that he is the "dateless amigo" of the title. As always, Married...with Children manages to be both hilarious and strangely relatable, as it explores the ups and downs of love, friendship, and teenage rebellion.