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Stewie finally says his first word, and it's a swear. When Lois is shunned by the other moms, she tries to figure out where Stewie could have possibly learned it.

Principal Shepherd moves in with the Griffins after he is fired for fat-shaming Chris at school. Meanwhile, Brian sues Stewie for writing a series of children's books which portray him as an idiot.

Cooped up in a hotel room due to a big storm, the Griffins pass the time by reimagining three stories from the Bible.

When Meg is erroneously reported to have died in a car crash, she goes along with the story to start a new life elsewhere. Meanwhile, the Griffins experience a life without Meg.

With a newfound love for rocking out to Van Halen, Peter gets in a car accident and falls into a coma.

Peter's non-stop sweating becomes a liability at his company, so his boss tells him to work from home. Meanwhile, after Stewie and Chris cause thousands of dollars in damage to an electronics store, the two create a fake Kickstarter campaign with Brian to pay back the money.

Stewie builds a DNA-altering machine that will allow him to remain smart forever, but the invention has the adverse effect and he instead transforms into what he should have always been - an actual baby -.

Peter gets constipated during the national anthem and must kneel.

Peter secretly gets a credit card and overspends the family money, so Lois grounds him. To plan the perfect escape, he builds a tunnel leading directly to The Drunken Clam.

When Brian accidentally becomes a local hero, an old street pal - and now a successful millionaire dog - reaches out and tries to convince him to get neutered. Meanwhile, Lois gets a pixie cut against Peter's wishes, so Peter retaliates by trying to out-embarrass her.

When Lois gets a job as the music teacher at Chris and Meg's school, a mean student, Connie (guest voice Lisa Wilhoit), decides to make Lois the target of her antics.

When Meg takes Stewie to the mall to meet Santa, she has a surprising response. Meanwhile, Stewie is entirely scarred from the same experience and Brian tries to help him process.

When Lois hosts a special Thanksgiving dinner for her family, Peter decides the best way to avoid it is to get arrested. Meanwhile, a secret that Stewie has been keeping from everyone is revealed.

In celebration of Peter and Lois' anniversary, the Griffins recount their own versions of three well-known love stories.

When Quagmire opens a cat café in town, Brian decides to take a stand to get the café shut down. Meanwhile, when Meg and Brian get in trouble at school, Lois becomes nervous and decides they need to go to church camp in order to find their way.

The network decides that it's time to explore some unique ways to reboot the series. When three versions of the reboots are shown to a focus group, the feedback takes some surprising turns.

When Stewie receives a participation medal in his school's toddler games, he begins to question everything he has ever won. Meanwhile, Peter causes a fight between Lois' parents and must repair the damage he caused.

Peter and his friends are sick of forgetting the million-dollar business ideas they come up with while drinking, so they strap on Joe's police body cams to record their every move. Meanwhile, Quagmire is trying to come to terms with an unexpected family development.

When the brewery announces it will be firing one employee, Peter is nervous he will be the one let go. In order to calm his nerves, the family departs on a Yacht Rock cruise that doesn't go as expected.