Married...with Children

Al and Griff want to get a massage chair, so they start bartering things to get it.

Kelly falls in love with the boyfriend of Bud's pen-pal, and decides to get married to him, but the boyfriend seems to like other women, which Al takes as an insult.

Bud has a pen pal in prison he writes to. The person is able to visit, but brings her tough boyfriend along too, meaning bad news for the Bundys.

Marcy's lesbian cousin visits, but she starts getting jealous of her.

Al gets to play football with the Chicago Bears, which also has a catch.

Bud directs a commercial for the shoe store where Al works. In the meantime, Jefferson goes to the health club, where everyone seems to enjoy his ... behind.

Kelly gets on job on a children's show, but soon starts hogging the set. In the meantime, in order to avoid Peggy, Al and Peggy get twin beds, but some things just don't work out.

Peggy feels neglected, and decides to pose as a stripper in the nudie bar, under the name of Jasmine. Al falls for her spells, but he doesn't know she's really Peggy.

Peggy's new boyfriend tells Bud and Kelly they have to work from now on, and they must find a way to bring her and Al back.

Peggy and Al go their separate ways, meeting new people. Al moves into an apartment near the airport, and Peggy finds a new boyfriend.

Peg and Al go to a therapist, and soon break up right on the spot. In the meantime, Kelly wants to get a commmercial job, but needs to learn how to box in order to beat the competition.

For once, Al and Griff want a regular meal, enlisting in the Army, but soon it becomes "mortal" combat when they have to fight a garbage strike.

Al starts to charge Bud rent to live in his house. Bud demands that he repair the basement, but Al tells him that he won't do it. Bud calls a health inspector, and she traps Al in the basement until he repairs it. While he's trapped, Bud lets people torture Al while he's down there.

Bud still has women problems, and decides to consult Al's help. Al tells him to aim lower, and soon he starts dating Gary!

Peggy gets amnesia, and the others tell her she is the ideal wife of the family, making her a cooking and cleaning machine.

Al gets sued after insulting one more obese woman who walked into the store. He must figure out a way out of it, or surely get punished.

Al and Griff get some new employees to run the shoe store, but soon Gary decides they do a better job than Al and Griff, getting them fired. Al and Griff can either convince Gary to give them their jobs back, or find "better" jobs. In the meantime, Marcy and Jefferson have been robbed of the Mary and Joseph from their porch Nativity that they were going to use to win the decorating contest. Soon, they find out it was Bud and Kelly. Also, Peggy makes a gingerbread version of the neighborhood, which happens to beat Marcy's Nativity scene.

Peg and Kelly go on a trip to Missouri, and find out they can win big on a singing contest.

Al wants to go look for a pie he loves made by an aunt, but finds out she is dead, and there is ony one pie remaining. He needs to get it away from the others at her funeral, and that is only possible with the help of football tactics.

The Dodge dies on Al, as portrayed in the previous episode, so Al goes to lease a sports car, which happens to be broken as well. In the meantime, Peggy finds out she can make some money from the engine of the Dodge, and goes to dig it up from the backyard where Al buried it.

Al's Dodge is close to breaking down. The family reminisces about what happened with it, and Peg, Kelly, and Bud try to sell parts of it for money behind Al's back. To be continued ...

Kelly gets chosen to be on a commercial where she must play a nun. In the meantime, Al gets chosen to go as Officer Dan's partner on Cops, and invades the D'Arcy's home.

Al learns that the shoes he sells are made by children in sweatshops, so he tries to blackmail Gary, his boss. He tries to get some proof of it so that both he and Griff will get a raise, but they fail. Meanwhile, the Bundys get a microwave oven and they try to hide it from Al.

Bud tries to make it seem like there is a bad storm outside in order to get a girl. A real twister occurs and the D'Arcys take refuge in the Bundys' house. The girl that Bud was with discovered what he was up to and leaves him. After the first storm is over, a Force 5 Twister comes. Seeing as how the bad weather turns the women on, Al and Jefferson use their secret exit to get out of the basement, winding up at the nudie bar.